Le Ly's mother, Tran Thui Huyen, died on
April 15th, 2006 at the age of 102
in Ky La village near DaNang.

This is a series of letters Le Ly sent back to her friends
around the world, recounting the details of her mother's passing,
and the funeral customs and rights surrounding her burial.

Le Ly sings in the hospital...

I’ve been in the hospital all day, every day, and get to the hotel just to go to sleep. Even though the hospital where my mother is was built by East Meets West Foundation, it’s run by the Vietnamese.  There is another part of the hospital that is still under construction, so they’ve put thousands of sick people in one win of the hospital. It is very overcrowded. Each room is about 20’ X 20’ and has ten small beds in it.  In each bed they put two sick people, and each sick person has between two to four family members who are at the bedside taking care of their loved one.

Because Mark Conroy (who I originally hired to work for East Meets West back in 1995 and still work there) came to the hospital and asked that they give my mother her own bed (as a VIP), she got one, but now she still she has to share the room with nine more people!

As you know, my mother loved to sing, so each time our family gets together, we sing and have fun. But now she can’t sing any more. However, when she hear me sings, she sings along with her lips and eyes closed, and it makes her very happy.

Today I started on my new mission as a "singer in the hospital", not only for our mother, but also for every body that wants to listen. I could not believe that I can really make people so very happy! After that, my mother tried very hard to tell us that if I go home to the U.S., she will die! She held onto me very tight for a long time and wouldn’t let me go.

Most of the people at the hospital have come from the countryside, far away from home. They have nothing: they all sleep on the floor in the hallway, and almost all of them are very, very poor. They are so worried about the hospital bills, their family health, their jobs. And many of the farmers have to work and cannot be at the hospital to look after their loved ones very long.

But I changed all that. I buy them some food, and bring them my happy face and some good old songs! I make everybody happy, young and old. Even though they are very sick and in bed and their families are full of stress, yet they all have a very happy smiling face. Now I understood why I am here. Not only because of my mother’s sickness, but I am also here to make so many sick people happy as well.

Buddha said there are over 8 millions different kinds of sickness in the human being. I now understand! We have ten people in one small room, but each old and young body has so many different kind of sickness. In the US we hardly ever see a sick person, but here you have to be very strong to be with a room full of sick and worn out bodies. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I am doing!   Love to all, Le Ly

An astrologer predicts bad luck...

Yesterday I met with the top doctors in the hospital and they all gave us some feedback about our mother’s condition. Now we have to think about and decide what to do. Here in Vietnam it’s not like in the US when it comes to birth and death. Both sides in the family (my mother’s side and my father’s side) don’t want our mother to die on the “street”, but rather feel that she must die in her own home. But if we take her home she will die right away, and if we keep her here in the hospital, we don't know how long she can last.  Her heart is getting bigger, her breath is short, and her health is not as good as when I first arrived.

All that to worry about, but we still have to listen to what "heaven says”. If she dies this year, all of her children and grandchildren will have bad luck for the next three years!  If she can wait until next February, however, or if she can make it for the first six months in 2007, then we all will be OK.  But if she dies later in the year of 2007 than six months, or even in 2008 or 2009, all of us will have to pay the price of "bad luck" for the next 12 years!

So, please help us. Talk about cultural and traditional differences between East and West…

There is so much I could tell you about, but not now. I will let you know what we are going to do after my sister Lan comes home tomorrow. In the meantime, if you could think of something nice that makes people in heaven, and humans on earth happy, please let us know for our mother’s old soul.

Update: The night before last, all my family members got together and requested that we not let our mother die outside of her home. Yesterday afternoon, my brother Bon, sister Ba, and I agreed that we would bring our mother home before it’s too late. But we cannot just put her in a taxi or hire an ambulance to bring her back to Ky La.

After our meting, Bon took me to see an astrologer to ask what date and time would be good for our mother to go home from the hospital.  The answer was tomorrow, meaning today. If not, we have to wait for two more days before she can return home.

After that, I stayed in Ky La, my mother’s village, to help sister Hai clean house for our mother to come home to and to get ready for her “departure”. We put out a new bamboo bed, our mother’s old blanket, some old clothes, and all of her personal things. All total it was worth about $2. All that will be buried with her or burned after she dies. My brother Bon went back to Danang to request that the hospital help us with the ambulance, and discussed with the doctors about releasing her.

I got back to the hospital about 9 PM and the room was full of people. Visitors from near and far, as well as nurses, doctors and many happy faces! The reason was that on Monday I met with three top doctors at the hospital - they are all my old friends of mine from 1988 – and the word got out that I am in the hospital with my mother who is 102 years old.  To show off, the government sent over the TV cameras for the news, and the doctor’s asked the nurses to pay a "little more attention" to my mother’s health while I am here. They even took out three beds to give us a little more room.

When I got there, my son Alan was there and he told me all about the "PR" for DaNang hospital, and good hearts and compassion of the people in the government who were looking after our mother so well. Now, is that happy news or what?

So finally, after one week, our mother got her food down her through a tube. She PPs through a tube into the bag and a "baby" (in training) nurse checks her off and on sometimes. They also started to give her an IV and pills with the hope that that will help her.

This morning she was able to move her arm and legs, and she tried hard to tell us how her body was so tired and in pain. So we will wait, not only for sister Lan to come, but also that "Heaven will grant our mother another good date" to return!  We hope and pray nothing bad will happen before then so we can bring her home safely!

Nothing can be done by human beings on earth, without "checking with heaven" first. Life here on earth is not that simple and easy, even though our family is willing to accept "bad luck" for the next three years. Even so, she cannot have her grave, or gravestone, but just a hole the earth, and that must be covered very fast! We cannot have any kind of ceremony until 3 years from now. This is a very, very sad for all of us as a family here on earth.  To let our mother be alone like that in the grave?  But what can we do? This will be continued! Thank you so very much, I have to run back to the hospital with lunch for the people who are waiting.  I will keep in touch! Love to you all!
Le Ly :: Go to Part 2

:: Part 1
:: Part 2
:: Part 3
:: Part 4
:: Part 5
:: Part 6
:: Part 7
:: Part 8
:: Part 9
:: Part 10
:: Back to NEWS & EVENTS