| ON BIRTH AND DEATH AND THE PASSING OF LE LY'S 102 YEAR OLD MOTHER, TRAN THUI HUYEN (Part 10) | |
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Tuan 49 day’s ceremony report: To repay the debt to one’s parents by Cung Duong Trai Tang at home requires having everything new and clean. Every mat to walk on must be new if one can. I brought many cheap tablecloths, paper cups, plates and bowls from City Party. Even teacups and two hand towels for each monk must be new. Thay Hue Vinh let us use 30 old mats, 20 teapots and over 150 teacups from his Quan Am Temple. The restaurant supplies most of everything. I am not too worried about pots to cook with. However, I brought supplies from Costco in Carlsbad, California to fill up 22 gift bags that will be presents to 22 monks. Inside each gift bag will be from $20 to $50 or more, depending on the family finances. With a budget from contributions by June Puccini, and Tom and Sandy Hayslip, along with Joel Boehm and Tripp Mikich, each gift bag was about $30.00. In Saigon when I visited Thuy’s (my son, Alan, girl friend) gift shop down town in Saigon, I tried to think about the last details and what we needed. I saw a line of beautiful black lacquer-ware rice blows with lids on top, 2 sets of black wood chopsticks with 2 nice chopsticks holders, placed in beautiful silk cases along with the same color of spoons to go with the rice bowl set. I took out some photos I have of Trai Tang at the temple to compare, and there it no comparing. The rice bowls the Monks are using for Trai Tang at the temple are made out of clay, in all different colors, and look very heavy, with a cover but no handle. I knew what all the monks needed and would like to have! They must have it to continue to serve at other events, and it’s easy to keep clean. Nothing can be better to go in the gifts bags! Thuy was willing to let me have everything at her cost, being that I am Alan’s grandmother. So it took me a second to have 22 + 2 extras (just in case), added to the gift bags. I also added on 1 set of 2 beautiful lotus lights for the new Buddha altar to replace 2 candles, and to go with the fresh flower and fruits in font of Quan Am Buddha statue, and a new incense bowl to set up for the monks to worship and chant. The budget is now up to about $50 per gift bag! Friday, June 23: At the Danang airport, 7PM, Vinh, (our staff) picked me up on his motorbike and took me to vegetarian restaurant to reconfirm the food and the price. The vegetarian restaurant will serve for 100 guests and 10 monks on Sunday 25, and 22 monks and 30 family members on Wednesday, June 28. Each person is 30,000 VND = $2.00 x 162. After I tested everything we then went to Quang Am Temple to meet with Thay Hue Vinh to work out the final details for the ceremony. I felt good, but it was too late to visit Ky La to burn incense for my parents! Saturday, June 24: At 7 am, I am back the village, but not much is happening. Not one single thing has changed since I left. I ask brother Bon where everybody is and why no one is here. I see that the incense has been burning 24 hours a day since mother’s passing, and that her altar looks very dirty. Sister Hai and brother Bon are talking about putting on a glass top on it for Mom’s new home (altar). “No, no! No glass top to cover up an old, cheap beaten-up wooden table underneath! That will look even worse” I said. Before I left here last month, I ordered a very nice custom-cut granite top to replace this old wood table, but I was told that I cannot touch the "noi nhang" (new incense burner) until the 49 days ceremony. Now I call and ask them to deliver it here for Mom. In the meantime, once again, I turn the house upside down and inside out to clean it. It was hot, and I “bathed in the sauna” for many hours. While waiting for the granite top, a young man came in with a big bag of cement, bricks, and tools to build “3 walls for post” to hold up the table top. “No, no! No more building right now! Help me to bring all the bricks here and I’ll show you how to use brick for a very nice post to hold up the table countertop.” Brother Bon started to argue with me because he thinks it’s going to fall down. “What would you put on this table besides an incense burner, one flower vase, one plate of fresh fruits, Mom’s photo, a cassette player and some sutra tapes, one sutra, and bowl of rice once in awhile?” (Remember, this is temporary, because when 2 years are up, Mom will join Papa’s altar right next to her. Bon gave in and it turns out perfect, the best and cleanest house for our mother to sit and watch us work, and the best she had in her 102 years of life! I have my brother call people to come and help put up 2 big tents and clean up the yard. We also need a large area outside the house by the front gate to worship all the homeless spirits, a place where 20 monks can stand around and all the members of our family kneel down to pray at the ceremony, but we cannot kneel down in this hot sand. If we were in Escondido, I would drive to Home Depot and come back with everything I need to solve this matter, but we were in Ky La village, how can I get this done in time? Even though brother Bon asked people to help out, nothing is happening. They all waited for me to come. While I am worrying, my adopted daughter, Be, and her husband, Hien, walk in to help with the event. Hien is working in construction, and Be was the first of100 children who first came to the Village of Hope orphanage I set up in 1993. I ask Hien to help me outside and Be to help out in the kitchen with the others. Hien took off his shirt, and 4 hours later in the hot sun and with much hard labors, he and other family members turned a hot spot of sand into a beautiful stage for us to kneel and pray for so many homeless spirits around our village. Thay Hue Vinh has drawn up a map of our house. Twenty-two monks and family members must have a big clean space to kneel down and pray to Buddha altar with Quan Am statue just set up by the monks. It’s in front of our Papa’s shrine in the middle of the house, next to our mother’s new home. Brother Bon and all the family members kneel down to “dan so or present”(?) our mother’s case to all Buddhas, gods and high spirits in the heavens. Two young monks came and helped, working side by side with us till Saturday morning. Late in the afternoon, I took two long lists, one from the monks, first to Metro and later to the market for more shopping to do. Most of it was the fresh flowers and fruits, soft drinks, mix fresh juice, coffee, tea and snacks for all our guests, monks, and family members to try things out from Metro. The list for the monks was 44 small hands towels of different colors, vegetarian cookies, cakes and everything that grows in the village to make offerings to homeless spirits. We serve not only for 22 monks, and 100 guests and 30 family members, VIPs and national and international guests, local children and villagers for four days, but we must also do it for: the “hungry ghosts, homeless and disabled souls; lost, lonely, young and old spirits who are homeless and cannot find their way home; spirits who were killed or wounded because of war; and the ones who have no legs or arms and cannot get to set on the tables with others spirits. We must not forget them, and make sure that they all are welcome to be here with us. Thank god that Hien was there, as he was a monk for 5 years before he got out and met my adopted daughter, Be. I went back for their marriage 3 years ago, and now they have a 1 year old baby girl. Hien helped us with every little detail that was overlooked by the family. I didn’t come back to the village until after 10 pm, with a truck load of stuff - things to make vegetarian sushi, Buddha’s Delight, paper money, gold, and a lot of cloth to make clothing for the dead. Together with many kilos of spiritual things to worship and make offering to “Co Hon, Cac dang and Am binh”, the granters, orphans, homeless, and unknown soldiers who died around here. But most of all for the unknown, unborn and un-named souls from who “had an abortion, miscarriage, or died at birth with no trace, and there is no one to worship them in the villages". Those souls are the worst troublemakers for the living because they have no name, no place to go, and no one to care them! They need to set up a place where one can worship or remember them, and now we need to add their names on our long prayer list! I didn't return to Danang until after midnight, but not for sleeping. I need to assemble 22 gift bags for the monks before I be back to Ky La in the morning. For the 22 monks personal use, in each gift bag there was 1 pack of mix nuts, 1 pack of cookies, a nice hand towel, (all from Costco in Carlsbad), 1 green bottle of herb oil for medicine from Little Saigon, 2 pens and a notebook from the US, toothbrush and toothpaste from the US and Vietnam, a very nice set of rice blow, spoons, chopstick and chopstick holder from Ho Chi Minh City. (The 2 head monks receive much more.) And 22 envelopes with “thank you” note cards along with 200,000 – 300,000 VND = $13-15. Our budget was short, so I gave sister Hai, Ba and Bon a chance to contribute to their mother, too. Ba gave 2 million dong = $130.00. Hai give 1 million and she paid for mother's altar new countertop 500,000 = $100.00, and brother Bon supplied all the drink = $100.00. Sister Lan from California didn't come but asked her new daughter-in-law Ngoc, to come and present some fruit, about 200,000 dong = $13.00. We are supposed to donate to each monk 7 yards of yellow fabric to make their robes with, or as lease brown or gray colors of material for each monk to have his own set of monastic clothes. But the budget didn’t allow that and I didn’t know which colors would be right for each level of monk. Therefore, I asked my friend, Joel Boehm, to contribute a round trip air ticket to Thay Hue Vinh to travel from Marble Mountain, DaNang City, to San Francisco. While Hue Vinh is in California, perhaps we can help him to raise some funds for many needed projects at his Quan Am Temple. The Kim Son Temple in Northern California invited and sponsored Thay to come and are taking care of all the paper work. That way it is much easier for him to get his visa to enter the US. Thay Hue Vinh is supposed to travel with me when I go home in August, but Kim Son Temple invited him there in early August, so he has to travel to SF alone on July 30th. Hope he passes his interviews next week! Sunday, June 25: At 7 am I have about 10 volunteers come to Ky La to help me with making sushi and Buddha Delight for the monks. I need to make sure everything is in place for 10 monks and Venerable Hoa Thuong, to come for the opening ceremony. By 2 o’clock, the food is delivered and set up nicely everywhere. By 3:30, 10 monks led by Venerable Tam Chau will start the ritual called “Le Khai Kinh Bach Phat”, to present our proposal to Buddha and gods with an invitation to be at the ceremony. And to invite Buddha, gods and VIP spirits from all the four directions to accept our heartfelt “La so” presentation by all of us as children Tran Thi Huyen, with her name, date of birth, date of her death, when and where she was born and passing etc, etc. We ask all the powers in heaven to be here for the next 3 days to hear our prayers and help us with our mother’s case at her 49 Days after passing and judgment day which is on June 28, 2006. But on April 4 of Binh Tuat year, Lunar date, month and year, when she gets ready for her trail. At 4:20 pm, monks will have another ceremony at our mother’s altar called “Le Tien Linh Tien Thuong”.12 monks and family members are now chanting and sending off gods, Buddha and high spirits, but also ask them to be around for the next 3 days to hear our prayers for our mother’s case and for them to review. At 4:45 all the guests are coming and sit at all 10 tables to listen to the monks while vegetarian food is being served in a very nice layout by the cook, our family members and many volunteers. At 5 pm, monks are resting and having dinner in front of the Buddha altar on the long black table and chairs. Some of the 100 guests are international, but most are local and city VIP on the other side in the open so they can talk and visit. Brother Bon and I give a short “thank you” speech to everyone for their love and support at our mother’s funeral. Everyone was very happy with everything and they never tasted such good vegetarian food before like they did today. At 7 PM, we waited for everybody to leave so we can pray and release 50 birds from their cage. Some family members buy a lot of animals that are about to be killed for food, and then let them go for this “offering” purpose. At 10:30 pm, three monks return to chant from the set of 3 sutras called “King Bo Thuy Sam”. It takes over 3 hours to finish. But it will be too long for our family to kneel down, so Thay chants it in 3 parts for 3 nights. This sutra is for the soul to “Sam Hoi”. The monks will chant on behalf of the soul as it confesses all wrong doing once created while living on earth and now is asking for forgiveness from all sides. A Buddha named “A Di Da”, just like Muc Kien Lien, he once vowed that when he became a Buddha, and when he hears humans call out his name, “A Di Da”, he will come to save them and help out while they are suffering with illness or he will stand by when that person is ready to pass over. He will accompany the soul the moment after passing on to other side, where it is safe and not too scared. After passing, while the soul is still waiting for trial and judgment, our family continues to have monks and nuns chant every night at the temple and call out his name for his help with the journey, to rescue and plead our mother’s case at her 49 Days ceremony. If all went well on her judgment date, he would take our mother’s soul to his peaceful planet known as “Coi Phat A Di Da”. One cannot do it alone, but must get help from other the monks, nuns and priests. The monks will come late in the night to chant Kinh Bo Sam Thuy, because when everything is quieted down and peaceful, their prayers are able to send out the wave higher, farther and more powerful in the universe so all Buddha, gods, angels and high spirits can hear from all directions that our mother confesses to them. Each person created sin as soon as they are conceived in his or her mother womb as fetus. Now, they cannot confess their sin by themselves but need monks, nuns and a priest to help their soul to confess. This time of year it is very difficult for any monk to come and help out with Trai Tang. The three months of summer is when they all need to be in “Nhap That” or “rains retreat” in a very small cell called “Coc”, to meditate and pray for their own personal ancestors and parents to be released from hell in the month of July. Monday, June 26, and Tuesday June 27, both days, monks were back by 8am to continue chanting the Kinh Bo Sutra, to make sure that our mother confesses all the sin she has created in her 102 years of life. At 10:30 the monks have a ceremony called “Cung Ngo” (every ceremony is conducted this time of the day between 10-12 noon) to invite our mother and all spirits to come for lunch as well as “Tien Linh”. This ceremony is heartbreaking for our family and anyone who attends and listens. Especially when the monks call our mother’s soul to “please come home with your children and listen to their mourning.” I knew the call and have it in the sutra, but don’t dare to chant it, because it will be torture to our family and people who are still living on earth. The call is “Vong hon oi hoi vong hon?” Soul, where are you now soul? Are you here to witness our notions? You are birth so you can be death… yesterday you were here as a living being, laughing with your family, working with your friends with love and happiness. Now you have departed from all of that…. You used to sleep here where it is warm at your home with your beloved children, now you’re by yourself where it is cold and lonely in your own shallow grave…. When the time for husband and wife to be arm in arm in one bed, now you are under earth in darkness in the cemetery.... With all the loves, hates, regret, guily, sorrow now your family here on earth, we call your soul to come and hear our plea on your behalf in confessing from now until judgment date… for you to confess. We are here helping you to tell Buddha and gods all sins that were created by you since you were born…. Now you are as a helpless spirit, we are present for your family to rescue your soul…. The separation that one must go through in life, we are here to accompany you in your journey and ask to release you from where you are to be here with us…” The call goes on and on with our pleas for our mother’s case to Buddha, gods and spirits, then to evil spirits, devils in hell, and permission to our ancestors, father, neighbors, lost, lonely, unknown, un-named spirits as well as for the living who have authority in the village, to be here to witness. No one would like to hear the call for a soul and ask it to come. I promise you that! Wed., June 28, I came home with another load of goods so we can change all the fruit and flowers in all the places, and I moved the altar outside and got everything for the next day. Still we start at 5 in the morning to get ready with all new hot tea, cookies, wet towels, chopsticks, bowls, plates and spoons, along with clean napkins etc. It was set up on a very long, new, clean yellow table cloth, from material that monks make their robes out of, that covered up the black dark wood tables for 20 monks and 2 head monks to sit after they are finished with theTrai Tang ceremony. A new altar was set up at the gate with flowers and fruit to greet and host all spirits who come to our grate. At 9: am, 22 monks arrive at our ancestors temple. First they put on their yellow ropes call “Y”. 9:20 my brother Bon and I came out with a tray of flowers to “Ruoc” or receive and host the monks and lead them to our house. Two young men hold up 2 nice, colorful and beautiful big umbrellas; (in the past, kings used it and it was called “long”) with the 2 head monks in front followed by 20 more. At first they greet and bow to Quan Am Buddha statue on the altar. The one that was set up inside our house, but today we moved it to outside so all the monks can chant and pray to all Buddha, gods, high spirits, lost and lonely, homeless souls, etc. At 9:30, the head monk kneels down and bows to the Buddha, gods and all spirits, then 22 monks start a short ceremony with prayers called “Cung Linh”, worship the souls. After that, all the monks moved to the long table and were all standing, to beging the “Cung Ngo” ceremony, to invite Buddha, gods, saints, and deities from all the four directions in the universe and every soul around to come and witness our Cung Duong. At 10 am, all the monks were sitting while our family members still kneeled down at the gate to welcome and host all the spirits who come for the ceremonies. To represent our family, the monks prepared for me to read one page of “Kinh Bach Chu Ton” before lunch. After my plea to the sangha to help our mother, the head monk, Hue Vinh gave a short lecture and explained to all the monks the propose of the gathering and asked to receive this offering with honor and try their best in their power to save our mother's soul. That is called “Hoan Ta Thi Thuc”. All monks hold up the rice blows in the air to offer prayers to Heaven before they all can start to eat. This is something very beautiful and everyone needs to see. Perhaps we will invite you to Deer Park, where Thay Thich Nhat Hanh’s monastery is in Escondido. At 11 am, when all 22 monks have had their lunch called “Ngo Trai”, Hue Vinh asked our family to stand up and rest while they are eating. 11:30 our family now kneels down again in the front of our mother’s altar calling “Cung Linh”, her soul, and then we follow them outside afterward for another big ceremony called “Cung Vong” for all spirits. At both these ceremonies we give out all the fruit, food, flower, money and gold papers and much-much more to the children and villagers who are poor and have been waiting here for hours. All these ceremonies were beautifully done very successfully. Many bad things could happen, but they didn't. Nothing. It was nice and it was over soon. Sister Hai, Ba and all members in Phung family witnessed something for the first at Lam Tua Trai Tang on 49 Days ceremony. I thank all of you who have been with me in the US and here in Vietnam. *** Right after the ceremony, sister Ba went home to rest. There she dreamt that same night our mother visited with Ba at our mother's house in Ky La. Ba reported "mother was at home and sitting on her bed like she always did, I sat next to her on the chair and Hai was standing next to mom talking. Mom sent Hai to see if our neighbor, Tau, had left home yet. So Hai went out and Mom took out a big peace of cloth, a yellow color that she lay out on the bed and she tried to reach for many things and put it all into the center of the cloth and wrappred it up nicely and got ready to go. Ba aske, "Where are you going in such a hurry?" Mom answered "I am now as a nun and I go to do service for other people". In olden days, all monks used this yellow material to pack up their supplies to go out and do service for people. Now our Mom is doing the same. Right before Mom had her 21 days ceremony, Ba said that when we do the 1-year ceremony, Bon should bring Mom's soul to DaNang and worship her at his house. Ba reported that mother came to her one night while she was sleeping at Mom's house and said to her. "This is our house, I will stay here and I’m not going anywhere. You all can come stay here with me and we will all have a good time together". After the funeral, Alan was sad and hurt, so he was driving around with a CD player on his ears. One night, almost at midnight, he went to find a coffee shop around the corner. But as soon as he stopped his motorbike his CD also stopped, and he heard his grandmom's voice say "Alan go home, go home before it is too late". She always worries about him staying out late. During the 49 days ceremony, when Alan was in Ho Chi Minh City having lunch, there was an old lady who tried to sell him lottery tickets. He always asks them to leave him alone and go away. This time the lady didn't go away, so he was upset. But when he looked at the old lady’s face, he saw his grandmom. He felt so bad he bought a lot of tickets from her. That is when he remembered the big ceremony going on in Ky La at that same time. The big ceremony on June 28 was over about 1pm. Everybody was tired, but very busy putting things away, returning all the chairs, tables and the teapot to the temple. Around 3pm while we all waiting for the truck to come and load up, the volunteers were having fun in the heat laughing and joking outside. For no reason, the CD player on Mother's altar turned on and her voice began singing. Everyone looked at one another with surprise, shock and disbelief. I heard someone say "Wow, not long but grandma learns how to use the machine on the other side very fast". Everybody laughed. It is very hard to explain how and why these things are happening, but they did. I just stopped at the market on my way from the bank to buy some fresh flowers, fruit and things to take to the village to make an offering to Mom before sister Hai and I have our dinner. Since I left for Saigon 10 days ago, not too many members of our family stay overnight with Hai, and she is very sad and lonely all by herself. I called Hai as soon as I returned to DaNang last night and asked how she is doing, and she broke down and cried. I waited and Hai said to me "I am living here with ghosts. Only ghosts." So with that, I am on my way back now to spend some time with Hai and be with Mom, and will be back in the morning to continue to work with our staff on the Portable Libraries workshop next month. Many thanks to you all, especially those of you who donated to my mother’s 49 days. With Love and Peace from Danang. Le Ly :: Part 1 |
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