| ON BIRTH AND DEATH AND THE PASSING OF LE LY'S 102 YEAR OLD MOTHER, TRAN THUI HUYEN (Part 6) | |
After that, Phuong and I went back to the village to watch the very first ceremony done by an elderly villager at 12 pm. He did his own ceremony to introduce our Mother's new soul to the old ghosts of our ancestor spirits, all local gods who watch over the trees, lakes and rivers, wells and ponds or everywhere on the land where the village lives and works. He also let all of the homeless and disabled spirits around Ky La know that there will be a new soul who will enter into their side, and asked them to please be kind to the soul. The family members made a new gate for the funeral, a fake gate for our mother's casket to go through, and took it down as soon as her casket passed. That is another good story to tell. Also, the priest gave a talk about superstitions of a new "bung binh" that our family bought to break when our mother's casket is carried out to the street. It is a big pot that will make a big noise and will chase our mother's soul out as well. I learned so many good things from my mother before and after her death, I cannot wait to write it all out and share to the world about living and dieing in the East! The next day, May 12, I visited with the Buddhist monk Hue Vinh at his Quan The Am Temple to plan the funeral ceremonies. After I have all information from my brother Bon who got it from wizard Muoi. I now know what to tell Thay Hue Vinh at the temple. After that Thay Hue Vinh agrees how many times and how many days he and his monks will come to our house and start his first ceremony etc.
After the bath they dress her up nicely and then cover her up with a long red dress, called "do ma" or ghost clothes. With a hat and red pants on her, but both of her hands and feet are in white cloves. I bought $30 of real gold to put into her mouth. That is for her to start her new life on other side with. In the bottom of her nice coffin, I asked them to put a lot of tea leaf, but they put sand. They also made many small pillows to put around her, also with white sand and not with tea leaf. I put out all new personal things for her to take with her on the other side, like a new comb, new moiré, finger nail clippers, etc. I was watching every detail while they gave her her bath with a little water and white wine. Before they dressed her up, they put some kind of stuff on her that will keep her body longer, but I don't like the smell of it. Many family members were standing by and I took so many from beginning to the end, but for some reason now I cannot find any! (?) In the end, I was so disappointed and regretted that I didn't bathe and dress her myself. The villagers did such a bad job, and I am not happy with their service at all. Our family and villagers they said it was OK, but I knew better. After everything was done with the bath and dress, now they are waiting for the Buddhist monks to arrive for their first ceremony called "Nhap Quang" and "Tri Trieu".
Seven monks arrive at 2 pm, and start the ritual right away. Right after Tri Trieu ceremony, they start Nhap Quang. At the same time, four men pick up our mother's little body from her bed to put her into her coffin. But before they put her in, they drop her down to the floor and pick her up 3 times before they put her in the casket. That is called "Ha though", the body came from the earth, all of her life she needed the earth to live on, like all the food and water she ate and drank, she used earth for everything, now she gives her body back to earth before she goes into her coffin. That also called Thanh Phuc ceremony. Our father's funeral at war was much different. Our Mother's funeral is much bigger and the casket is made by Trainees. It looks more like one made in the US, nice and fancy. After the "Nhap Quan ceremony, wee put her body in the casket at 3:pm on May 12, 2006. After that the monks left and all family members will be together to receive "Phat Tang ceremony". There we will give out the white uniforms called "ao tang" to family members to wear at the funeral. Like in the US, we leave the casket open for 2 days, May 12 and 13, for people to come and view our mother for the last time. This is the first time this has ever been done on the village level. From now on, people can start to come and view our mother in her new beautiful casket. I planned for years to ship one home from the US, but I found it here, so it saved me a lot of time and $.
In the evening of Sunday, May 14, there is another big ceremony called "Le Trinh Dien" or "introduction ceremony", to let people know that tomorrow is the burial. The family members introduce 30 pallbearers all in very nice blue uniforms. First introduced are 3 men called "Ong Tong", who represent "Thuong, Trung, Ha", "Heaven, Earth and Hell". The man who represents Heaven will ask heaven to "open the Heaven gate" to let the new soul of Tran Thi Huyen into heaven; the Earth man will try to protect her soul and not let bad ghosts or evil get it and take it to a wrong place. But the most important one is the man in Hell, who tries hard to save and protect the body of Tran Thi Huyen and not let evil and devil take it to hell. The Heaven, Earth and Hell guys introduce themselves first, then 30+ of their men dance and perform to the public. This show was start at 6:30 pm, on May 14, 2006, the night before of the funeral. The whole village came to watch them dance and perform. They did such a good job, people gave them some tips, but the more they give, the longer they sing and dance. After that is another ritual called "Le Te Van" ceremony, men who dress up nice and represent our family to read our mother's biography, and to remind people of our mother. This man's job is to make sure he touches the people with our loss, but he did such a bad job no one dropped a tear or gave him any money, but instead asked him to stop and leave. I wrote 2 pages about our mother to read to the public, but people already left so I couldn't do it. My family did not know what to do or how to plan the program. I wish I could have taken it over and done it all myself. But again, I am only a "girl" and cannot interfere with boys job. That is the sad of part about Asia or Vietnam. Everything considered important is only for men not women. At 4 am on Monday, May 15, 2006 people started to come for coffee, tea and food. At 5:am seven Monks arrived to start the ceremony. At 5:30 there is "Le Dong Quan" by three Heaven, Earth and Hell men again, to do another ceremony to let our mother soul know that they will take her casket to the graveyard. My brother Bon lay down on the ground right at the font door to let the people who carry the casket walk over him from inside the house to outside. On the way from our house to the grave, we paid for another 30 young boys to help carry all the scrolls and fresh flowers, and many villagers volunteered to carry hot tea, beattle nut, food and all mother's possessions in the front of the coffin to the grave.
From the house to the grave we were supposed to walk closely and stop more than once. That way it could take 2 hours, with many stops on the way. But everyone wanted to get there fast and get it over with. Therefore, they stopped only once to have only one ceremony called "Le Cung Dao Lo", to ask permission from old spirits to let us carry our mother's casket from our village of Ky La to Khai Tay village to bury her. We also had another ceremony at the gravesite called Ha Nguyet ceremony. Here the Earth man asked permission from land gods to have our mother's body buried in the ground. There are so many ceremonies to ask permission from so many souls and spirits, like Buddhas and Gods, hungry ghosts on the streets, homeless and disabled children who are living on the street and waiting for the funeral to pass so they can have some food. For us to have the funeral done well we have to pay attention to all spirits and the hungry ghosts. After the casket reached the grave site, we had to wait until the "right time" before we could lower the casket into the grave. The right time is 8 a.m., and not before the 7:15. No one wanted to be at the graveside and wait because some people have to go to work. So when they reached the gravesite, dropped the casket, got on the truck and drove away. When the good time came, we as the family members took off our white uniforms and helped to carry our mother's casket to the grave and lower it to the ground. I was sad to see that the young people and others are not willing to be nice at the funeral. After the casket was down in the grave, we made a nice cover over our mother grave to keep it warm. Since her funeral, people still come to visit but no one can come with incense and white candles, only fresh fruits and flower. :: Part 1 |
|
 |
|
Early next morning at 6 AM, Mr. Doan Con An, my son Jimmy's father called from Saigon to tell me that he is coming to ask for "Doi Khen Tang" for my mother! Tears ran down from my face and I cannot say anything. I gave my staff a few things to do like making phone call to let people know, and to do what that they or I think needs to be done. 
When I return, the funeral service men were setting up outside for the monks to start their first ceremony at 2:30 pm. At 1 pm the funeral service men came with white wine to give our mother a bath and change her into her nice cloths, like a black ao dai, white pants, and very nice shoes that I picked out for her a long time ago. But before they start to do that, they called her 3 times to wake her up, and tell her what they are going to do. 
The monks will let the Buddha's, Gods and high spirits all around know that there is a new soul that will join them in the spirit or heaven world, and asked them to be kind and have compassion on it. They also pray to Buddha and Gods to help guide our mother's soul into bright places and not into the darkness. They tell our mother to let go of her body so her soul can move on. Because up to now our mother doesn't even know she is dead, her body will play in the coffin and the soul will be lost outside of her body and she will be scared. The monks will 
When people come to pay respect at any funeral, they first burn 2 incenses, bow two bows, and then place one incense for Buddha and one for Mom. One or two of our family members bow back in return to their bow. After that we guide them inside the house where the casket lay in front of our father's altar and in the middle of our house for people to view our mother. She has been in the open since 7:30 on May 11 and we will not close the casket until late in the afternoon of May14. 
Everything was good until we got to the grave, because then we must wait for the good time at 8am to lower her casket. So all the young men left to work or home. So family members and some villagers helped. I asked my family can I keep some of our mother's personal belongings at her altar, but no, they burned it all.