| ON BIRTH AND DEATH AND THE PASSING OF LE LY'S 102 YEAR OLD MOTHER, TRAN THUI HUYEN (Part 7) | |
So far a total of 10 monks and nuns have done many ceremonies for our Mom’s funeral, but did not ask for anything. However, I went to shop at the new Metro store near to our office in Danang (more like small “Costco” run by a French company) anyway to buy personal things for all the monks to use at the temple, and for when they do ceremonies at another funeral. We rented a van to pick them up and bring them back and forth every day for 5 days, and we also donated some $ for Quan The Am Temple. So everything that had to do with monks and nuns, and on spiritual rituals, as well as doctors, nurses, hospital and clinic and all that have been involved in helping our Mom, I paid in full. Also all the donations at the Danang General Hospital, as well as 2 oxygen tents that will be given to the Mother's Love Clinic on May, 28 with a group of doctors from Japan. I will be there to give it together with them. I mentioned that in my last letter.
It is very important to help our Mother's soul to release from earth into higher realms in the heaven somewhere, and not to let it roam around in the village or be together with the living. No one can do this test but monks, priests, and family members by making many contributions in the names of charity. We need to release many birds and animals from their cages, and to repay love and compassion. To pay respect to our mother, our family members should to be participating for at least the first 49 days after her death. But no one can do that, not even one day. Just me! I am very sad and disappointed about this. The head monk, whose name is Thay Hue Vinh, and all of his monks at Quan The Am Temple will perform a ritual mass at our mother's 49 days ceremony at her own home. The mass will start on Sunday afternoon, June 25, with a group of monks and nuns chanting at the house, as well as at the temple late into the night. We not only do this for our mother's soul, but also for all of our ancestors, young and old spirits, new and old souls, as well as for many homeless ghosts which will be released from any gates of hell, or are now still held in any difficult places in this world called earth, or any other planets called hell.
For the next 3 days, from June 26-28, monks and nuns will be at our house and will represent our family as presenters on our mother’s behalf, like a lawyer in life. My brother Bon will "Dan so" to heaven (a long list of names whom we ask for release) while the monks continue to chant and ask from all 10 levels of Buddha, 9 levels of Gods and many, many levels of high spirits, to be at our mother’s trial for the 49 days when they send her to somewhere. The presenters will work very hard for our case and ask that our mother’s soul not to be sent to hell, but to release her spirit from the earth world into a Buddha place called "Niet Ban" or Nirvana. All the Judges of the 9 Heavens and 10 Buddha worlds will decide where to send "Tran Thi Huyen's spirit". To which gate (from 1-12) and in which hell cell she will be in. We believe that everyone who lives on this earth creates some sin, but it depends on how much at the trial. Based on that, the Judges will send her to hell for so many life times etc. All we want for our mother's soul is for her to be where it is peaceful so that she can continue to learn and grow in spiritual ways after her death. Because she is new, she cannot be with our father or ancestors yet. But we don't want her soul to be captured or lost in hell, either!
At first all judges will be at the trial, all the Buddhas, from good and high spirit levels, will come and listen to all Phung's family members plead their case through the monks. We kneel and bow for hours while the monks, priests and nuns represent us at our mother's trial. We plead to Buddha to help with her case, and not to let evil or devil put her soul inside the "gate of Hell”, but help lead her soul to the gate of Heaven. I did this service for all of our ancestors 5 years ago when I found out that our ancestor’s souls were not at peace after our family temple was built in 1996. After the trial ceremony, there will be big lunches (offerings?) for all Buddhas, Gods and high spirits from all four directions, East, West, South, North, and in space, who will be at our Mother's trial. They will join with all monks, nuns and priests for a vegetarian lunch. At 12 sharp, the offering or Cung Duong Trai Tang, will start between seen and unseen spirits having lunch. This offering will be put together by our family, but mostly it will be on me. Everything for that day must be new. Because it is up to the Phung family, they don't have any idea what to do. But they will kill a lot of chickens and ducks, buy many kilos of meats and fish, and that will go well with many cases of beers and bottles of rice wine for the ceremony. That is the new village style today!
Anyway, I believe my family is just like the rest of the people in Vietnam, who want to do for the living, and not too much for the dead. As long as everyone has good food to eat and wine/beer to drink, and people have a good time with a lot of fun, that is what matters in the new way. Not too much for the souls of the dead! Any killing on earth right now (especially by our family!) will put our mother's soul deeper in the gate of hell, because they did it in her name, and it will be presented to the judges as having been done by Tran Thi Huyen family members who are still living on earth. Based on the "La So" my brother Bon presents to the judges, that alone will help our mother's soul from being punished in hell! Even my sister Lan, when I asked sister Hai to have the daily offering made only with rice and vegetarian food at Mom's altar, said "Mom not vegetarian while she was alive, so why now ask her to become vegetarian?"
Each evening I try to chant, but people around me are cooking with meat and fish, so flies are everywhere and in everything. They make all kinds of noise just to send me away. I felt like I died and went to a different kind of hell than when I was in the hospital! The only people I can talk to here are the monks and nuns. I am very grateful for all of their help and support, and for guiding me in the right direction. As well as helping guide our mother’s soul to a resting place. There is so much to talk about on these subjects, living and death. You would not believe how difficult it was for the funeral arrangements to go forward in the village with the government, local officials, and villagers involved in every detail. My Mother became well know after my book first came out in 1989, and the film after that. But even before that, there were many International guests starting to visit her since 1986 at her home, bringing gifts and donations. 
All five of her children and their families who live nearby and far away always visited her many times each year with gifts and donations. But she lost most of them. But she still saved some for her funeral. She gave 1/2 of it to my brother, and another 1/2 to sister Ba to hold for her. Like everyone on this earth, our mother did not take anything with her to her grave, but from the being of her life, our mother always knew she will die one day. Therefore, she always saved up for her funeral. Because many wars came in our Mother life, she was very poor in her childhood. All of her life she saved everything. When I left in 1970 and sister Lan left in 1975, we left her some gold for her old age and funeral because we didn't know if we can come back for it or not. But she lost it all! People stole it all from her. For the last 20 years people have visited her from all over the world at her home. Each of her children and grandchildren came to visit her in the village more often because of the new road built to the village. Each and every new year because of her old age, international guests, people around the village, and family members from far and near came to touch her hands for long life, and leave her some donations in a red envelope for good luck. She didn’t even spend any of it, but sometimes she even begged for more! She didn’t even buy any of her food, get medications, or pay doctors to help her with her health. She didn't buy any new clothes, new shoes or hats since 1994! I bought all of that for her before she went to the US. I even bought her bed, all the furniture in the house and whatever I could think she needed, I got for her. In the past, each month she received between $7 -$10 from the government for our brother Sau, who was “missing in action”. This year it went up to $20. That money she had our bother Bon pick up for her and he paid for whatever she needed. She also made some money from the sale of her bamboo and the trees around her house. She used that money for some of her grandchildren’s weddings, birthdays, or when they came home to visit her for Tet. Or for ancestors’ worship holiday etc. That happened many times each year. Since January of this year, 2006, the government came out with a new law that said that people who live over 100 years and had family members killed while fighting for the country's independence, should get $20 per month. So she received $20 per month since Jan. Total $80. Now it stops.
The night before last, all of her children were there together. Sister Ba and brother Bon showed us all the money that our mother left for her funeral. Some bills are in the US$, some are in Japanese Yen, but most was in Vietnamese Dong. The total was about $1,000. Sister Hai also used her own money from the sale of her chickens, bamboo, and donation from others for whatever she (mom?) personally needed, and for family ancestors purpose. Besides all that, both of them saved everything for the final date. Villagers and people from near and far came to pay respects in Vietnamese Dong at the funeral. The total is about $500, and $50 was donated by people from the East Meets West office in Danang. But for our Mother’s care from the date she became ill, with all the funeral service, etc up to now the total is over $3,000. Everything that has to do with the monks and the ceremonies, the hospital and clinic bills, the doctors and nurses, and all the medications I take care of. We are short about $650 and we have asked sister Lan to help, but we still don't know if she will. If not, then each of us will put out some pocket money to pay for it. But in Vietnam, the son Bon Nghe, is supposed to look after things like this. The problem is, he doesn't have any money either! During all of our mother’s life, people ask "What did she leave behind to remember her by?" We can start out with her oldest daughter, Hai, who had only one daughter, name Tinh. Tinh married and had 6 children. Now Tinh's family has 14 members. Sister Ba, who is married to Chin, has 7 children. Now Ba's family has a total of 44 people. Brother Bon married twice and has 4 children. The oldest one passed away 10 years ago. The second married and had three children, but they are still very young. Bon's family is a total of 10 people. Sister Lan had 2 sons. Both are married and today her family has a total of 5 people. The youngest child, Le Ly had 3 sons. Two are married and each has one child. Here family is a total of 8. People in the village would like to know who is Tran Thi Huyen. She who came from the very poor village of Man Quang in 1904. She married our father, a young man from next village of Khai Tay, in 1925, and set up their first bamboo hut in Ky La in 1927 when the village had only 7 families. Now Tran Thi Huyen is dead. What can she show to the people in her village? We only can say that our mother married our father, and that was a good arrangement. They planted some good seeds. Together they created a total of 6 children. Two sons, (one they lost in the war), and four daughters, all of whom have been next to her since she was sick, and to the final hour of her death. From those five seeds, we created today another "158" seeds from Phung Trong and Tran Thi Huyen family members, all from one tree! Their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren, and many more to come. And as of today she has 5 generations after her. That is the only thing she left for us, and we are very proud of our parents! Without them and their seeds, we would not be here to serve one way or another for mankind on earth. My mother is no longer here for you to come and visit so she can kiss your hands and give you many hugs, love, and show you her compassion, but– You will witness the memorial service in which we ask heaven for her 49 days judgment after her death. The ceremony will have 30+ monks, high priests and nuns, and hundreds of family members and villagers will be there. But you can also help us train 100+ teachers, educators, and librarians at our workshop at the Village of Hope, the street children’s center I founded in 1993. Now we have 138 children who live there! This “big ceremony” is something very important to witness, and will help you learn about the culture, spiritual rituals, souls, life and after death. And you can also contribute to by your presence at our training to help the children at the Village of Hope. Many thanks to you all and will continue on this journey! With Love and Peace to you all from Danang! Le Ly :: Go to Part 8 :: Part 1 |
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Yesterday was "Cam Ta" or “Thank You” day. I visited with the monks, and we were on TV to say "Thank you" to all the people who came to our mother’s funeral. I will have many photos to share when I return, but for now I will share with all of you about the spiritual matter of the funeral and of our mother's soul. 
All the big ceremonies after our Mom’s funeral are coming up 49 days after her passing. After 49 days there is more at 100 days, but not as big.
If we don't send the homeless spirits off in nice way, they could create many problems for the villagers. Therefore, all the monks will ask the gods and Buddha to forgive them all, by praying, chanting, and requesting the release of all souls in hell to be set free. Also on the Sunday afternoon, we plan to invite the international guests, NGO groups, businesses people, etc, who live and work in Danang, as well as high level officials and VIPs in the village and in the cities, to come for hot tea and light vegetarian dinner with all the monks, nuns and our family, so we can say "thank you".
June 28 will be a big day. We start at 8 in the morning of the 28th, and there will be 30+ Buddhist priests, monks and nuns and all families members will be invited to our house as presenters with "La So" written by the monk, with all the information about the souls on earth in a big list for a ceremony called "Cung Duong Trai Tang”. The monks and priests will have a major chanting ceremony while all family members get down our knees and listen and bow. 
We have discussed about it for the last 3 days and it's now up to me on the Trai Tang ceremony. We agree that I will have the monks and priests do the 3 days of chanting and ceremonies, followed by Cung Duong Trai Tang until 2 pm on June 28. But after that it's up to the family to do whatever they want to do with the meat and wine. I am not a part of it and not involved or paying for it!
Everyone in my family is against my ideas of doing charitable acts, because they need all the money to pay for the funeral service. They’re not even willing to be vegetarian for the first 49 days after our mother’s death. It would be much cheaper to buy and cook.
All the donations by the people from around the world, the money paid by the Vietnamese government and her hard working as a house cleaner in Saigon, and a hard life after the war ended in 1975. For all of those years in her life, she saved and saved. But she lost it so many times, that she finally asked our Brother Bon Nghe and Sister Ba Xuan to hold it for her and for all of us.